The Learning Partnership Blog

Help them be social but stay safe

 
The telephone, it seems, has become an antique. Social media and texting are the way that most Generation Yers and Millennials communicate with each other both at school and after class. Blogs, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter give young people an outlet for expressing their individuality, connecting with friends, keeping in touch and sharing links, photos and videos of the things they like.

If your child is at the age where he or she is beginning to use social media, or is older and completely engaged with Facebook, there are a couple of important things for you both to remember: It can be social and fun, but putting your entire life on social media can expose your teen to dangerous situations and could seriously affect your son’s or daughter’s  future.

If your child is blogging every tiny detail of her life, or posting 100 photos (and tagging them) to Facebook at a time, she’s putting too much personal information out on the Internet for the world to see.   

Here’s a test: Sit down together and ask your child to Google themselves – then you can both see how much information comes up. Look it over – how much could a complete stranger learn about your child’s life with a simple search in one of the popular search engines such as Google or Bing? Do you want everyone to have access to that information? Strangers, for example, shouldn’t have access to your son’s or daughter’s Facebook photos or tweets.

Here are some tips for helping your young person keep their online information private, professional and safe:

• Facebook – Make sure privacy settings are to Friends Only. Users can create lists of specific people who can see their walls, tagged photos and albums under the custom link. Your child shouldn’t add Facebook friends whom they don’t know well.
• Twitter – If your teenager often tweets private thoughts, or their location, then tweets should be locked so only permitted followers can follow your son or daughter.
• YouTube – Create Unlisted Videos for controlling who sees the content. Your child can also create Private Videos limited to 25 YouTube users.
• Every month, teens should check and update privacy settings on all social media.
• They should never post inappropriate photos or comments to any social media site

If you have a younger child who’s starting to use the Internet, here are some tips to let them enjoy surfing and using today’s technology safely:

• Make sure the computer is in the family or living room, where you can supervise their time online
• Use the Internet together
• Set parental blockers, so your child can’t surf to any inappropriate websites
• Limit your child’s online time
• Make sure you both sign an Internet safety pledge, such as the ones available from Safekids.

 

10 Tips for Beginning a Career-Exploration Dialogue with your Teen

 

Do you have a teen starting high school this year? Grade nine is a critical year, because this is the year young people have to start thinking about future career paths, and making the right choices academically. Here are 10 tips for getting a dialogue going.   

 

    1.   Get them to assess their skills and talents – ask them to think about what they’re best at. Help them make a list. Here’s some information about essential skills that may be helpful.

    2.  Have your teen assess their academic achievement – what courses does he or she get the best grades in? Sit down together and make a list.

    3.  Ask your son or daughter to research their “dream job.”  Who has it now? How did they get there? What skills, education and experience are needed?

    4.  Sit down together and make a list of your teen’s work experience and extracurricular activities. What’s missing? What experience do they need to gain?

    5.  Together, determine some short- and long-term goals your son or daughter  needs to achieve that dream job, and write them down.

    6.  Find out where there are resources to help – together, check out The Learning Partnership’s Passport to Prosperity resources.

    7.  Make sure your teen uses the SMART goal-setting tips to make achievable and measurable goals. Here’s some more information about SMART goals.

    8.  Talk together about their short- and long-term education, life and career goals in general.

    9.  Encourage your son or daughter to take those first steps toward achieving new goals! They can take a photo of themselves in their dream job, and enter the Ultimate Dream Job Contest, which is run by The Learning Partnership in partnership with Scotiabank^®. There are weekly prizes to be won, and your teen could also win a trip to Ottawa on The Learning Partnership’s Take Our Kids to Work Day™, November 2.

    10. Grade nines’ career goals may change as they get older and move through high school. Encourage them to stay true to themselves and work hard to make their future the best it can be.

Setting SMART goals will help your student make most of school year

SMART Goal Settting for the New School Year

 

School’s getting underway for another year. What do you want your child to achieve this year? What do they want to achieve? Maybe his math marks could improve from last year; maybe she wants to make the girl’s junior basketball team; maybe you’re raising a budding politician who wants to get elected to Student Council. SMART goals are the mantra of the workplace and business, and they can be applied to school achievements, too. (In case you’re not familiar with SMART goals, here’s a refresher.) 

Setting SMART goals

S – Specific

To know whether you’re on your way to achieving your goals, you need to set specific ones. Setting broad goals such as “get better grades” makes it hard to know whether your student’s on his way to success this year. Instead, help your child develop specific goals to achieve in each class, such as “Improve my Science mark to 75 from 66” or “Get 77 per cent on the first math test.”

M – Measurable

When you’re helping your child set goals for this school year make sure she can measure her success. Instead of her writing “make the girl’s junior basketball team,” make sure she has a way of measuring her progress. For example, “Practice layups and three-point shooting one hour per day until tryouts in October.”

A – Attainable

It’s important for everyone to set themselves up for success by setting attainable goals. If your son has never skated but suddenly says he’s aiming to make the school hockey team, then there’s a problem because that’s not really an attainable goal. That said, never say never – remember the old adage ... with hard work, anything is possible. 

R –  Realistic

Make sure your child’s goals are achievable in the school year. It’s great to set bigger, long-term goals, but ask your son or daughter this: “Do you think this goal something you can accomplish in eight months?”

Goals help maintain balance

It’s important for your child or young teen to set goals for different areas of a student’s life: academics, personal, athletics, extracurricular activities, work, etc. They can help you both make sure there’s a minimum stress, life-school balance when there can be so many opportunities but only so much time available.

Finally, make sure your son or daughter writes down every goal, and regularly reviews the goals you’ve developed together to track their progress. They can blog about their progress, or keep a journal.

June 14 Online Forum on parenting with Karen Horsman

Join us today for a discussion on parenting between 9:00am to 5:00pm. Karen Horsman, National Parenting Columnist, will be standing by to respond to all your questions and comments.You can send us your questions ahead of time by clicking here and posting them in the comments section.

Click here to read this week's blog post from Karen – Sizzling Summer Learning = a Fantastic Fall

Click here to access the transcript of the discussion from June 7th in English

Click here to access the summary of the discussion from June 7th in French

JOIN US ON JUNE 14 FOR THE ONLINE FORUM ON PARENTING WITH KAREN HORSMAN

Join us on June 14 for a discussion on early childhood development between 9:00am to 5:00pm EST. Karen Horsman, National Parenting Columnist, will be standing by to respond to all your questions and comments. You can send us your questions by clicking here and posting them in the comments section.

Click here to read this week's blog post from Karen – Fabulous Fathers

Click here to access the transcript of the discussion from May 31st in English

Fabulous Fathers

 I was at my local recreation centre last week watching my boys play floor hockey when I heard a commotion on the other side of the gym.   A huge group  was pouring in for the parent and tot play hour.  I watched as the coordinator got out the cushy mats and balls.  Some of the parents were pulling out hockey nets and huge foam blocks.  Then it struck me.  The  gym was full of Dads.  It's remarkable how in one generation, the role of the father has changed so dramatically.  I remember my Mom marvelling at my husband holding our newborn so gently and then rushing to change his diaper.  Seeing men pushing baby strollers and taking part in teacher/parent interviews is not only typical, it's now expected.   Fathers still have one disadvantage.  While women are often taught how to be involved and engaged parents by their mothers,  many of today's men were not raised by fathers who went to parent and tot play groups or changed diapers.  They're breaking new ground and it's not always easy. 

It was Dr Spock (the most famous parenting expert from the last generation) who said we need to grow into the role as a parent.  He wrote many people mistakenly believe you can figure out how to become a parent the same way we learn something new in school.  We take a course and if we don't study we fail.   Even if we took a class in childhood development, it doesn't prepare you for sleepless nights and temper tantrums!  There's no doubt parenting is on the job training.  There may still be a noticeable difference in some households in the "division of labour" when it comes to childcare but Dr. Spock and others point out if the father is fully involved in the first couple of years, the bond and role of the Dad is entrenched.   The research community has also been fascinated with the changing role of the father.  There have been many studies on the impact an engaged dad can have on raising healthy  children.  In the area of literacy, the research shows a remarkable difference in kids who are either read to by their father or are modeled reading in the home.   (this is especially true for boys)    Meg Meeker says in her book Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters a father is the most important man in a girl's life.   Dr. Spock says a boys identification with his father is by far the most potent mechanism by which a boys character is shaped.    That's a big responsibility.  But before that overwhelming feeling sets in, here's a story in honour of Father's Day.  (coming up on June 19th)  My husband is one of 9 kids.  His Dad worked two jobs while his Mom stayed home.   My father-in-law was a World War Two veteran and a firefighter.   He didn't talk much about either.  That's not what men did.  He wasn't one to say I love you  but my husband always knew his Dad cared about him.  When I asked "How  did your Dad show it?"   He explained "When I was in goal playing lacrosse, my Dad came to every game.  Sometimes things would get a bit rough and the other team would hassle me.  I'd look behind me  and there was my Dad pacing up and down behind the net.  He would yell out "Are you okay son?" and that was it.  I always knew he was looking out for me."   It's the simple things that can be the most powerful.   Back at the parent and tot session, I was thinking about how differently fathers and mothers interact and play with their children.  Each parent brings something unique to the experience.   Father's Day is a time to celebrate Dads. It's also a reminder of how important they are.     Whether it's the strong, stoic man behind the net at a lacrosse game or the Dad building a tower out of foam blocks at a play group, fabulous fathers are an equal partner in raising great kids!

Join us on Tuesday, June 7th  from 9am-5pm (est) for a LIVE on-line forum about early childhood development.  Send us your questions and comments.  Karen will be standing by LIVE to answer your posts

JOIN US ON JUNE 7 ONLINE FORUM ON PARENTING WITH KAREN HORSMAN

Join us next week on June 7th for a discussion on parenting between 9:00am to 5:00pm. Karen Horsman, National Parenting Columnist, will be standing by to respond to all your questions and comments.You can send us your questions ahead of time by clicking here and posting them in the comments section.

Click here to read this week's blog post from Karen – Taming the Praise Junkies

Click here to access the transcript of the discussion from May 24th in English.

Click here to access the summary of the discussion from May 24th in French

Taming the Praise Junkies

My daughter raced into the kitchen last week clutching her stuffed cat "Cuddle" and proudly announced she had made a raincoat out of sandwich bags for her beloved animal. This was her solution to a serious matter. Cuddle is looking a little rough. She used to be pink and fluffy but is now grey and limp. Her rattle in her belly has been broken for ages and her stitching is coming out. But she still fits perfectly under Jenna's neck at night and Cuddle is the one she clings to when she needs to feel stronger. Washing her is a delicate matter. I took one look at this raincoat and said, "wow, that's amazing. Great job Jenna!" Praise comes out of our mouths so easily. It's easy to do and it makes our children feel good about themselves. There's been a great deal of discussion in the parenting community around the problem of too much praise. Is there such a thing? Yes, according to expert Alyson Schafer. She is the author of many books including "Honey, I Wrecked the Kids". Schafer's concern is we're creating praise junkies - kids that need a "hit" of recognition and feedback to feel like they've accomplished something. Now, it is crucial that we acknowledge and celebrate our children's success. It is one of the excellent suggestions mentioned on the parent tip sheet included in the Welcome to Kindergarten resource bag. Children feel valued and supported when their parents notice and react to them learning a new letter or drawing a picture. But it's how we react that can make a difference.

The number one suggestion is to praise the effort. Saying every single picture is fantastic can start to sound a little suspicious. Praising how hard they worked is a way to mix things up. There's a common teaching technique that can work well at home. It's called the "star and wish" approach. The "star" is a positive statement. "I like the way you drew your cow. He looks very happy with his friends." The "wish" is a suggestion on how to improve....."Next time, maybe you can use more space on the paper". Some children cringe at any sort of criticism but we need to prepare them for the critical feedback that is necessary for learning. Building a student's positive self esteem is a major part of childhood development. Naturally, parents want their children to feel good about themselves. But healthy self esteem comes from believing in yourself. That can't be handed to you. It comes from feeling capable and strong. So how can we help? There are three words to keep in mind; encouragement, interest and enthusiasm. If you're sitting at the table playing with some foam numbers, instead of saying "You're great at this game. You're so smart." You could say "Let's find the number 4. I know you found it yesterday. Can we do it again today?" That's encouragement. Showing your interest can be something as easy as saying "Can I see the picture you're working on?" And enthusiasm means saying something like "Those are amazing colours you've picked". You can visit The Learning Partnership website for more great activities to do with the kids. Some children crave praise more than others. My daughter loves it. Her face positively beams when she's told she's good at something. I use the "star and wish" approach with her often. She's not always keen about the "wish" part. Sometimes she defends herself by saying "Well, I didn't use more colours because I wanted it to look simple." That's okay. Feedback is not always easy to hear but without it we can't improve. As for her raincoat for Cuddle, it was pretty clever. There's always room for a "That's amazing! Great job" and leave it at that. And if the raincoat works, I'm getting a patent.

Join Karen Horsman for our online LIVE forum on Tuesday, May 31st from 9:00-5:00PM EST. Send in your questions or comments about early childhood development and Karen will be standing by to answer your posts.

JOIN US ON MAY 31 FOR THE ONLINE FORUM ON PARENTING WITH KAREN HORSMAN

Join us on May 31 for a discussion on parenting between 9:00am to 5:00pm. Karen Horsman, National Parenting Columnist, will be standing by to respond to all your questions and comments.You can send us your questions by clicking here and posting them in the comments section.

Click here to read this week's blog post from Karen – A Bag Full of Promise.

Click here to access the transcript of the discussion from May 17th in English

Click here to access the summary of the discussion from May 17th in French

 

A Bag Full of Promise - Karen Visits a Welcome to Kindergarten Event

I had only taken one step inside the front door of the school and I knew something special was going on. The balloons and a packed parking lot were clues but there was something more obvious. The noise! The sound of children squealing filled the front foyer. The gym doors soon opened and the kids rushed in. They were greeted by the smell of playdough and bright crayons that begged to be touched. This Welcome to Kindergarten event was just getting underway and I could already see the children were on fire. Everyone sat down for a brief introduction. Suggestions were made for how to get children ready for the fall. Some people were taking notes while others gazed around the room absorbing the atmosphere of their child's new school. Then the principal gave a few details about the Welcome to Kindergarten program and this amazing bag they would all receive full of new books, letters, notepads and so much more. The buzz in the room went up a notch and then it was time to move. There were 3 centres in the gym and two more in the kindergarten classrooms across the hall. Everyone's name tag had a coloured dot on it. The blue dots started at the playdough table. While the children explored parents were reminded that playdough is wonderful for strengthening fine motor skills.

I spied one mom helping her daughter make the number two with her blue orange playdough. Each Welcome to Kindergarten bag had a ball of playdough and a recipe to make it at home. The letter table was a busy spot with magnetic boards everywhere. Parents were told how important letter recognition is for kindergarten. Going on a treasure hunt for the first letter of a child's name was a great idea. Across the hall, the teacher/ librarian was talking about the importance of reading to your child. Everyone had a sneak peek into the routine at the library and the book bags they would be receiving in the fall.




They also looked at some online book sites and other great literacy tools. Bean bag chairs had been set up and there was time for a quick snuggle and story. Back in the gym, scraps of paper were quickly piling up as the future students worked hard with scissors at the cutting table. A few youngsters had never used scissors before. The teachers assured parents they were perfectly safe and the ability to cut and paste was an important skill for kindergarten. After everyone had an opportunity to visit all the centres, it was time to hand out the Welcome to Kindergarten bags. The energy in the room jumped. One boy took out every single item and lined them up on a desk. There were three books with wonderful stories that focus on things like number sense. There were crayons, paper, letters and numbers, playdough, a scrapbook, notepads, scissors - all brand new and ready to be played with. The bag also contained a message sheet for parents.

Among other things, it encouraged parents to use all the resources in the bag together. And of course, a reminder that you are your child's first and best teacher. I watched as kids walked out of their new school with their The Learning Partnership Welcome to Kindergarten bag slung over their shoulders. Some had given it to their parents to carry but some were still holding onto their playdough or one of their new books. There's no doubt, it's a special bag full of potential ready to ignite a young person's love of learning.

Join Karen Horsman for our online LIVE forum on Tuesday, May 27th from 9:00am-5:00pm EST. Send in your questions or comments about early childhood development and Karen will be standing by to answer your posts.